S03E03

Today we got an email from a guy called "frustoo banda". Shocked to see, we have copied it in our blog.Please read it

" And then I boarded the train at 2 AM and I scanned the entire reservation chart to find a F 23 in the list but instead I found one F 53 and the rest all Ms. And then I found my berth right infront of the toilet. And when I found my berth, I found a fat guy snoring and sleeping on my berth. So I had to wake him and ask him to "F**K off". And then when I had just slept, the TTE came. And then when I tried to find my ticket, I couldn't find it. And then when I finally found the ticket, showed him and slept, some asshole turned the light on. And then in the morning I sent a girl, whom I have been liking for the past 2 years a message. And then when the phone beeped and I found a new message, I anxiously opened it just to find out that it was from TM-5234 saying that I could enlargen my height by 2-3 inches.(no pun intended) How the F**K they came to know that I am short. And then there were some sixers in the bogie asking for money and touching me. And then I went from S-1 to S-12 to scan for hot girls but it seems all hot girls travel in AC. And then, when I as about to reach Delhi, the train stopped to give pass to Rajdhani, as if we are second class citizens. And then the train moved at such a great pace, that a buffalo overtook it and showed me its middle finger.WTF Indian Railways"

And then I boarded the Delhi Metro, and entered the first compartment, where I found all hot girls unlike my train journey. And then I was fined because I entered the ladies coach. Why can't they just call it MaalGaadi? And then I went to the second coach and sat down there. And then a hot girl came smiling which made me feel happy. And then she asked me to get up because that was again sitting on the ladies seat. And then the lady in the metro announced "Please mind the gap". And then I shifted a little bit away from the girl sitting next to me but later found that she was talking of some other gap. WTF Delhi Metro. Screw you Public Transport"

And the next news is that people in Haryana have listed "Maar Kaat Kar denge, Maa behen ek kar denge" as their hobbies. So Mountain Dew in its promotion in Haryana have changed their slogan to "Darr ke aage JAAT hai"

That's all from us. Happy Independence Day.

S03E02

"Ek to tu ch***a lagta hai, formals mein tu aur ch***a lagta hai" Pyaar ka Punchnama

Today we shall talk about how being in a corporate life is in other words, how it feels to be a corporate whore.

1. HRs generally specialize in PR and by PR, we do not mean Public Relationhips, we mean Physical Relationships.

2. Corporate Whores generally use a QWERTY cellphones. We would rather call it SQUERTY cellphones.Also, these CWs as they are commonly called make the best use of VIBRATION mode in a cellphone.

3.The probability of partnerships with a second company is a function of the amount of cleavage, a female SPOC(as it is used in the corporate dictionary) can show to the first company. This is also applicable to female candidates who come for interviews in a compnay.

PS:In 2nd case the HR may or may not be a male.

That's all from us this week. Stay TUNNED.

S03E01

Well we are back once again, and as we declared in the last post, it did not turn out to be the last one. It was just a hoax.

In this facebook maniac world, we wondered what it would be like if facebook was alive during the days of Mahabharta, what would be the scenario then. So today we shall tell you some memorable status of famous personalities.

1.Duryodhan: Chilling out with bros at Hastinapur.

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Yudhidhthir:Dude, let's meet up for a game of poker. I can bet Draupadi :D ;)

2.Dushshasan just before the "Chirharan Kaand" : Is going to plunder Draupadi #helluvafun

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Bheem:Kutte, kamine..Main tera khoon pee jaaunga

Dushshasan:Lolmax

Srikrishna:Beta Lolmax to tera ab hoga :P

3.Drithrashtra: Yippie,Just set the record of giving birth to 100 sons :P :D

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4.Gandhari: Just gave birth to 100th son :( Wish I-Pill had been discovered earlier.

Gandhari likes I-pill, Masti and 3 other pages

5. Sri Krishna was tagged in Arjun's Album : Fun at Kurukshetra

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Yudhisthir: Kewl.Suupa Pitcha Man

Arjun: Thanks bro :)

6.Sri Krishna updated his work info

Driver of Gareeb Rath Express for Arjun and 2 others

S02E07

Well the day has come.Finally we are here on our season finale and our blog finale. So if we have to end it, we shall end it in style. Today, we shall disclose to you the original identities of the 6 original gossip gals.

PS No more heightwise description this time.

1.Shek

Identity: Abhishek Singh

Current Job Status: Employed with no joining date

Employer:Price Waterhouse Coopers

Designation:Project Architect??? Oops that was the post he got in Pinnacle Infotech

Wannabe Location: Kolkata

The guy is a real diplomat. He managed to score 2 jobs in just one day and that too in 2 completely different fields. The first one as a project architect in Pinnacle Infotech and the other a consultant in PWC. The 2 situations were:

1. Interviewer 1: Why do you want to stay in Architecture?

2. Interviewer 2: Why do you want to leave architecture and join as a consultant?

And believe it or not, he convinced both the panels to equal degree of satisfaction

2. Nanda

Identity: Dhawal Nanda

Current Job status: Employed with no Visa

Employer: Rio Tinto

Designation:Minor or Miner?( The company is still deciding)

Wannabe Location: Perth, Australia

The guy had been sitting in interviews since Day 0 and finally got a job on Day 7 that was originally a Day 2 job. Confused?? Well, Rio Tinto(Day 2 compnay) guys after returning to Australia decided that they had made a huge mistake rejecting such a "juice launda" who could be an asset to the company. Of course not because of his credentials but because of his perfect figure.

3. Vj

Identity: Saurabh Vijay

Current Job Status: Employed by chance :P

Employer: James D. Armstrong (JDA)

Designation: Wannabe Supply chain Manager

Wannabe Location: Bangalore

The guy's sincereity can be known from the fact that after getting a job, he took a course on Supply chain Management and attended each and every class of it and managed to score a C. However he could not impress his folk people in Rajasthan because they believe that it is just another job in Jaipur Development Authority(JDA). Also the company after his joining has changed its profile to Chain Supply Management ( as in supplying chains for fastening luggage on railway platforms)

4. Neetu

Identity: Nitesh Kumar Mishra

Current Job Status: Emplyed thrice

Employer: Deloitte, Oracle and Flextrade
Designation: Coder or Crowder ( The company isn't sure what his designation should be)

Wannabe Location: Mumbai

Stakes were high that he could barely manage a single job from the campus but he shut his critics' mouth by securing 2 jobs from the campus and one off-campus. His interview was as follows:

Interviewer: Aap Computer pe kya kya bana sakte hain?

Neetu: Sir, Main to bas Ch***ya bana sakta hun.

And he was selected!!

5. Natha

Identity: Piyush Kumar Pandey

Current Job Status:Already Joined

Employer:Verve Consulting

Designation: Analyst+Consultant+Project Architect+Town Planner

Wannabe Location: Bhubaneshwar

The company was so sure about his capabilities that they gave him several designations and also handed him a lot of work even before joining. Now this can be for 2 reasons:

1. Either they are too capable of his capabilities

2. Or they know that he won't work so, in a way they can save a month's salary by making him work even before joining.

6. Finally Baba

Identity:Arif Nezami

Current Job Status: Employed with an expired joining date..which is so unlike him since he does not have an expiry date

Employer: Bharti Realty

Designation: Management Trainee

Wannabe Location: Gurgaon

With one leg in the coffin(ek taang kabr mein) and the second one missing, the company have decided to provide no health insurance to the guy since they believe that the company would go into a huge debt covering his medical expenses. Also because of his age, he has been asked to make as many life insurances from Bharti Aksha Life insurance policies as possible bacause that would bring a huge amount of revenue for another 1000 years(and counting) to the company.

That is all from Gossip Gals. We do hope you enjoyed our episodes. If by any chance you felt offended by our blog then we have only one thing to say, "Sorry but the Inconvenience caused is not at all regretted."

S02E06

Campus News this week:

a)The B.C. Roy Technology hospital has been nominated as the most unique hospital on the planet by the Times Magazine. There are several reasons as to why it was nominated for this award.

1.This is the only place where you find doctors with a B.Tech/M.Tech and M.Sc Degree.Some of them even hold a B.Arch Degree.That's why it is called Technology Hospital.

2.Saline Drip is the ultimate Panacea(for those who have a weak vocabulary, panacea is the remedy of all diseases, more like "Raambaan" in Hindi). The hospital claims to have cured an AIDS patient just by its saline drip.

3.The diseases diagnosed here are always 10x( meaning 10 times more than the patient has). For example, if you cough, you have TB. If you dipped your hands in yellow paint,you have jaundice. And you can have AIDS even if you do not have a sexual partner.

b)The normal reaction of people in common room during a match involving India:

1.If there is a 4 or a 6 scored by India, people shouted "Yo INDIA!!"

2.If there is a not-so-hot-chic shown on TV screen, people shouted "Yo KGP!!"

c)And finally, a common scenario in Bengal Restaurants is that people do not find delicacies that they wish for.

1. Customer 1: "Beer hobe?"
Restaurant:" Beer hobe, thanda naa hobe."

2. Customer 2: "Daal hobe?"

Restaurant:" Daal hobe, tadka naa hobe."

3.Customer 3: "Chicken hobe?"

Restaurant:"Chicken hobe, jinda hobe."

That's all from us this week.Stay tuned for more Gossip.

S02E05

We shall continue the trend of telling you rules, theories and facts that are very relevant in the campus.So let's kick off.

1. The Naari Mukti Pariyojna: This rule applies for all females and states that the profile pic on Facebook of any girl, how bad it is, has to be liked by all fellow females and has to be followed by comments like "H.A.W.T",Sexy etc.

2.The Desperate Bro Rule: This rule as an inspiration from Barney's Bro Code. While the original Bro Code has many articles like "No sex with Bro's Ex" and the likes, we have tried to include another clause for all our Desperate Bros and it goes like this.

" A Desperate Bro shall like each and every status and pic of a hot chic on Facebook and the like shall be followed by a desperate comment."

1. The like shows that the bro is desperate.
2. The comment keeps a check on all other fellow desperate bros since the original desperate bro gets all desperate notifications.

3.Rainy 2.2 Rule: For those of you who do not know what 2.2 is. it is a loop of perimeter 2.2 kms, and is somehow considered to be very romantic in nature.The rule is valid only when it starts raining in Kgp and the girl says"Oooh, it's raining outside, the weather is so nice and romantic. Let's go for a 2.2," means that the girl originally says" I'm already all wet."#allpunintended

4.Hot chic vs Not-so-hot-chic Rule: This rule applies when you have a hot chic surrounded by two not-so-hot-chics. The final golden rule says that "A girl in hand is better than two WITH the Bush"

5. This is what a Bong said when he was asked to read aloud the famous proverb "Birds of a feather flock together"-"Birds of a feather fock together"

That's all for now. Stay tuned.

S02E04

As always, we shall come up with theories and rules that are very relevant to the current scenario in the campus.This week too, we shall tell you similar theories,rules and facts that our expert team has come up with.

a)The M-G Ratio: The M-G(Maal to Girls) ratio is defined as number of hot chics to the total number of girls in a particular area at a particular time. The M-G ratio is an important factor in any area and particularly in a campus. Some typical M-G ratio are:

1.In Europe and USA, the M-G ratio is close to 1

2.In India, the M-G ratio is around .1, which means every tenth girl is hot.

3.In Kgp, the M-G ratio is almost close to 0.001.

4.Even in many African countries, the M-G ratio has been found to be better than that in Kgp :O

With a low M-G ratio, there can be serious consequences of:

1.Friends fighting over a common girl.

2.A testosterone charged campus.

3.Most of the males resorting to other means of satisfaction such as homosexuality and porn.

b) The G..oops B-spot theory: An abbreviation for Blog-Spot Theory,this theory states that most of the guys, who have failed in love more than once (in short losers) often become shaayars and bloggers.

c) Latest dressing trends in the campus

1.Window curtains are the new skirts.

2.Pillow covers are the new mini-skirts.

3.Well, Handkerchief speaks for itself.

d) They say "Whatever happens in Jnan Ghosh, stays in Jnan Ghosh"(For those of you who do not know, Jnan Ghosh is an open ground in the campus with no security at night time). So coming back to our quote people say that Whatever happens in Jnan Ghosh, stays in Jnan Ghosh, UNLESS you are an FBI agent and go there at night shouting "FBI!!Put your...your WHATEVER where we can SEE THEM. The similarities between NBA and Jnan Ghosh are

1.Most of the action takes place during the night time.

2.Both have a common tagline "Where amazing Happens!!"

That's all from us for this week, stay tunned.