S01E12

On Republic Day, a day of national importance, we shall be declaring the Global Golden Gobar (3G) awards, the awards of national unimportance. The award has been rated as the most non-prestigous award and has been given a B rating by the Censor Board and is not advised for minors.So lets start the show.

1.The first and the foremost award is The Bang de Basanti award for banging the maximum number of Basantis. And the award goes to:

Natha

We had no second nomination for this category and after seeing his album Boat Party on FB we had no second thoughts.

2.The CCDude award for paying maximum visits to CCD in a single semester goes to:

Nitu

There was a close competition between Nitu and Natha but the CCD officials have confirmed that Nitu has been seen just one time more than Natha.They have also confirmed that the two of them accounted for more than 90% of the revenues of CCD.

3.The Bada Kela (no pun intended) award goes to:

Shek

The guy has set a new record in eating the maximum number of bananas in a single day. Reporters have also told us that he ate Jhaal Mudi on train with sliced bananas in them. He claims to have memorized 1000 benefits of the fruit and also claims that he can do 1000 push- ups or carry weights upto 1000 kgs after eating a dozen of bananas.

4.The For-mal award for having the dirtiest room goes to:

Nanda

It is believed that seeing the room's condition the hall-cleaning workers refused to clean his room.And when the trash came out, much to the people's surprise it was more than the volume of the room.

5.The Shiney Ahuja Rapist of the Year Award for raping the maximum number of...wait for it...SONGS goes to:

Vj

Vj claims that even when he cried in childhood, it had beats in it. He has also performed on various remixes of Vande Mataram in his school on Independence and Republic Day. A turning point in his career came when he found the remix of Aarti-Tumre Bhavan Mein of Dilli 6.

6.The Mark Fuckerberg award for sending the maximum number of friend requests on FB goes to:

Vj again.Nice ****job Vj

Reports have confirmed that Vj has been regularly banned from FB for sending excessive friend requests on a single day. He sees this thing as a matter of pride.

7.And the last but the least.. The Lifetime achievement award for the year 2010 BC-2011 AD goes to:

Baba

Can there be a second choice for this award!

That's all from us today.We would like to congratulate all the winners and thank our sponsors Douche Bank and our Media Partner Radio ***chi 69 FM. Have a nice dry day.Stop smoking today.

S01E11

Latest Gossip from Backstage:

Vj has been rated as the fairest man in Rajasthan by Rajasthan Times.Also a magazine published in Rajasthan has compared Vj to tha famous character snow-white.Reports have also come in that after the success of the movie Kaloo he has decided to produce a movie named Goru in which he plans to play the lead role.

After seeing the success of Coke studio, Vj has decided to launch his own Boke Studio in Bengal.

In the same magazine that compared Vj to snow-white, Natha has been referred to as the seventh dwarf.Also because of his height he has been short-listed by topmost companies.

The only thing Nitu has earned after joining Kgp is "Beizzati". In a poll conducted which involved professors and students he has been unanimously voted to be the person with the least amount of respect in the campus. Also many girls polled that they would better tie a rakhi around his hand rather than going out for a cup of coffee with him.

In another poll, which involved fathers of hot girls, all the daddys have refused to give their daughters' hands in the hands of Nitu.

Nanda has decided to get married before he passes out.On hearing this news, many girls have been heartbroken and some have even suffered from heart attacks.

Baba has claimed to play basketball with Sardar Vallabh Bhai Patel and also supposedly defeated him.After defeating him he also claimed that he gave the tempo shout of RP and shouted Patel ki leli zig-zag zig-zag.

After hitting on all sorts of ILFs, Shek has decided to now take on cougars.Also after seeing the unhygienic conditions in the mess, he has decided to wash all the plates,spoons and glasses himself.

That's all from us this week.We do hope that all guys score random chics this SF.Next week we shall be announcing the Global Golden Gobar(3G) awards.Stay tuned.

S01E10

Continuing with the series of the ex-gossip gals today we shall go one step ahead and tell you about the famous Pari.Pari was considered to be the most famous personality in West Midnapore district and an opinion poll said that 83% of the people wanted him to be elected as their MP or their MLA.Such was his popularity.Reports have confirmed that kids in this region look upon Pari as their God, worship him and say hymns of the famous Pari chalisa. Owing to this popularity, today we shall unveil many untouched aspects of his life in our post.

Pari also called Pariya(by batchmates) and Pari Baabu(by his juniors) was considered to be the second best at poker after Bhau and had the record of losing the maximum amount of money in Poker. Often people used to come to his rooms for their “wasooli”. The famous case where Nehru was accused of causing nuisance in RP with hockey sticks following the GC announcements was actually a mob of people who had come to take their money from Pari but later the event was given a political dimension.

Pari was known for his typical accent, his vocal chords been tested by many scientists all over the world and his accent has been identified as neither US nor Indian but a mix of what they call as Bihari and Caucasian . People even do not know about the origin of the words that he used that were “Goaandaa” and “Aeeeee chhatuaaa”. Recently we heard that he has patented his voice after Lata Mangeshkar patented hers. Also these famous words,lines and phrases have now been included in the hymns of Pari chalisa.

Some of them that are now included in the Pari Chalisa are: (since these words,lines and phrases were seen as a way of Pari communicating with God)

From aage take left.

Goaandaa de diya.

Godwa

And of course"Aeeeee chhatua"

His close friends say that he had spent his entire college life with his laptop and one pair of clothes.Our reporters have also told us that Pari once booked ticket in Tatkal when there were more than 300 tickets available in the general quota. This was because he was a man who went by the books and he said that doing so was what the law prescribed.

Pari was a man of reasoning and he was sure that the British made a mistake while pronouncing the words "to" and "two" similarly while according to him they should have been pronounced differently. Pari even took tea party by its literal meaning and was seen making tea on a stove and serving it to the juniors during the entire party.Also Pari was considered to be the only person in the campus who had solved previous years’ mid-sem and end-sem papers with a timer on his table. Such was his dedication towards academics.

There is not just one reason that Pari has achieved God status in the district.The above said were only a few and we are sure that there would be many more. His followers say that they have in true sense seen God.We honour the God today.