S02E02

Top 10 things to do on an Airport and on an airplane:

1.Go to the Airlines help counter outside the airport and say "Internet chal raha hai? Ek PNR check karke batayenge RAC hai ya waiting?"

2.Try making some money.Take a few chains and try to sell them outside the airport to the passengers for fastening their luggages.

3.Make people curious.With a tea kettle in hand, try selling tea by shouting "Sabse kharaab chaai"

4.Try making new friends. Select a person who is in a hurry(preferably a hot girl) and say "Madam, ek foto le denge airport ke saamne please"

6. Go to the cockpit(cockpit,well that's funny) and request the pilot "Thoda left lenge aage se"

6.Again go to the cockpit and ask the co-pilot "Dada,Lajpat Nagar jaayenge kya?"Make sure you do not disturb the pilot because he is driving.

7.Safety comes first.Ask the pilot and the co-pilot "Helmet laga lijiye, aapke safety ke liye hi hai"

8.Try calling a sexy air-hostess and tell her in a sweet and innocent voice "Jab malviya nagar aayega to bata denge.Hum yahan naye hain."

9.If you have a girl with you ask your fellow passenger to compromise"Bhaishab thoda adjust keejiye, dekh nahi rahe ladeej hai saath mein."

10.If you smoke, call those smart stewards and ask "Ek tho Beedi pilayenge?"

S02E01

So we are back! As we said it would be a very short season break.

Reports have just come in that Boke Studio started by Vj has been a great success and has had over a million views. After the success of Boke studio and after seeing many flop Koffee shows, Vj has decided to start a new show called Chalu Chai with Vj .The catchline of the show as he reports shall be “is back after a BANG” .Our secret reporters have also told us that Vj has an obsession with the word BANG. Vj shall be hosting the show himself and he claims that the show shall be creating a revolution in the television and youtube history and shall be kicking asses of all other similar kind of shows.

“The guest on my show shall be the most renowned personalities known so far. The show already had more than 3000 likes on FB and has had the maximum TRP even before it is aired,” claims Vj. The guests shall be served with Chalu Chai and Pornflakes. He has already revealed that the first episode of his show shall have some prominent Gujjars from Rajasthan. They shall be gifted with fish plates and railway tracks in the Rape-it Fire Round.

Vj has further informed us that his show shall not have any Governors from any societies but shall have the Governor of Rajasthan himself. Also as a token of remembrance, he shall have thumb impressions of the celebs on Chai Glasses (since most of the guests are from Rajasthan and are illiterate). Also there shall be variations in each episode and apart from the Rape-it Fire Round there shall be Ma Behn round (as in Ma guitar, Ma I-pod and Ma life.After checking other Koffee shows, he believes that a little bit of wannabe character sells the show ) where the guests shall have to write an essay on their sisters and the much awaited Jugnu Round, where the guests shall be asked to catch fireflies.

To make the show international he has also contacted some very famous personalities from Bangbros and Realitykings. “This shall take my show to an international level” he says. Later we came to know that Lacie Heart and Sasha Grey have agreed to be on his show and both of them will be showing their POSITIONS of responsibility (as told to us by Vj) on the show. Vj believes that there is no social taboo in bringing such guests because of two reasons, one that Rajasthan is too open minded and two that the girls on other koffee shows are equally slutty if not more.

The major sponsors of this show are Vivid entertainment (Bang it on) and Chhedis (The perfect place to bang on V-Day) and the Media Partners being the same as the 3G awards, Radio ***chi 69 FM (Bajate raho which when translated means “Keep Banging”). This shows Vj’s obsession with the word BANG. Seeing the popularity of this show in this competitive market, there has been news of other shows like “Gaanja with Nitu” and "Say na something to Pampam Uncle"

S01E15

We have come to the season finale and we had saved the best facts and figures for the last episode. So in this final episode of our Season 1, the protagonist is the head of the family of the gossip and the ex-gossip gals. So people, we present before you Daddy (Also referred as Bahubali, Ban da, Jadhav)

Daddy’s popularity in kgp was often compared to that of Jayalalitha in Tamil Nadu, the difference being that while she was referred as Amma, Daddy was referred as Appa (which again means Daddy).That was how Daddy came to be known as Daddy.

Even though his hometown was in the countryside of Ranchi, he had a strong dislike for Bhojpuri and Jharkhandi Folk songs. Many of his close friends report that his first year gmail ID was arnav.love&lust but later to save the embarrassment he changed it to arnav.ll. To improve his SQ (not sentimental quotient but sex quotient) he had a huge range of cosmetics which included the infamous Multani Mitti. Often he was seen with two cucumbers on his eyes and hair rolls in his hair to give it the special curly look.

While final years barely have, out of 4 meals, once or twice meal in a day, Daddy had 8 meals per day. He did not even buy the Multani mitti but preferred the Mitti from the basketball court. His USP on DC++ was his special Bhajan(a codeword for porn in kgp)collection with his nick Bahubali and he claimed that every second, a bhajan was uploaded from his so called collection. Also he had subscribed to 2 newspapers daily, since he did not find 1 newspaper enough.

To increase his popularity on Hall day among girls, he had written comments like “gr8 company” and “tussi great ho” on the walls of his room before the Hall day even began. And to serve his guests, he willfully bought an expired cold drink and later showed everyone that the cold drink had expired and was not good for health.

He often refused to treat his juniors when they asked for, and the entire process would go the other way round with the juniors treating him. Also while he never ate more than 5 Butter Rotis at Sahara of his own money, he ate more than 20 with someone else’s and continued saying the same dialogue “Abey yahan ki Roti to pata hi nahi chalti”. While men take pride in beating others and their favourite catchline is “Maarunga 10, ginunga 1”, Daddy’s favourite catchphrase was “Khaunga 10, ginunga 1”

Daddy’s character in his last semester resembled that of Adam Sandler in 50 first dates, the only difference being that while Adam dated the same girl 50 times, Daddy dated 50 different girls at the same time. Our secret Reporters even said that he had drove all the way with a borrowed bike, borrowed petrol and a borrowed girl to Sher-e-Punjaab (100 kms from Kgp) just to eat Chana Jor Garam and came back saying that with a bike, the ride seemed so heavenly and “Time ka to pata hi nahi chala”

In spite of everything, he performed the duties of showing his paternal care to his children (not by spending money on them) but by scolding them while they involved themselves in unsocial activities like eve-teasing. And how much his kids bash on him, they have confessed that they still love him.

That’s all from us on Season 1. We do hope that you enjoyed Season 1. We shall be back after a short season break with brand new gossip and brand new episodes on Season 2. Ciao.

S01E14

Coming to the penultimate episode of the season, today we shall be reporting about the most eligible bachelor among the ex-gossip gals Choubey Da. Choubey Da (or commonly known as C-da) had been rated as the smartest guy in town and our reporters even claim that he had been crowned as Mr. Midnapore (which included both East and West Midnapore)in a male beauty contest,though we are unaware that such a competition even exists.

Very few people knew that C-da had an unlimited collection of clothes and deodorants, each one for a separate occasion, the best ones saved for SN Hall Day. A true hardcore fan of the 90s, he could listen to songs of Saajan and Sadak on a repeat mode. His favourite song and his life’s motto had been the same -“Bas EK sanam Chahiye…Aashiqui ke liye” (The stress here is on EK) and he continued following the same principle of wanting “BAS EK HI SANAM” in his entire college life.

Our reporters have also reported that C-Da had been offered a role in a Bhojpuri film, a film that both Ravi Kishan and Manoj Tiwary wanted bad but the director preferred C-da since he had better looks and better dressing and dancing style than both the actors. But later the director of the movie, Rockey.iitkgp had to choose Ravi Kishan since C-da had date clashes.

We have also been told secretly that C-da had exactly zero number of Indians added in his skype friends list. This is because he beleived that friendship has no boundaries. Also whenever he left Kgp, he used to do it SRK style in DDLJ(with his one hand stretched and body leaning slightly out of the train compartment), but unfortunately his Kajol could never reach the station in time(as he claims)

C-da had exhausted all the videos on LAN starting from the decent ones and then the indecent ones and finally those which had both decent and indecent scenes. A chivalrous guy, he was the kind of guy who could offer his own seat in a restaurant or a theatre to any random girl. Also a superb dancer, the turning point in his career came when he had the opportunity to dance with Shaan (yes, the music singer) and his troupes (That was a time when he said FU to TDS, the local dance troupe). He has made a record of maximum visits to Kgp after passing out in the shortest duration of time, because of his Kgp sento and Kgp Connections.

His close friends said that his SQ(Sentimental Quotient and not Sex Quotient or Summer Quarter) showed a dramatic increase with the intake of alcohol. Also C-da had the knowledge of almost all of the secret meeting places in the campus including Chem Top, Meta Top and the likes.

To all girls reading this, please give him a call, and he will always be ready to go out on dinner with you, the place and time hardly matters.

S01E13

Back to the ex-gossip gals, today our cheap editors shall tell you about the (un)popular Ambuj Kashyap.People say that the term Self Assumed Stud (SAS) had its origin traced back to him. But there are a lot of untold stories that we shall be leaking in our blog.So lets kick off.

Ambuj Kashyap was the most popular guy among girls and the most unpopular among guys.Our R An D team tried to investigate about the reason for the mixed opinions and came up with 3 theories that it has found relavant in the current society:

1.A chic is always jealous of another hot chic.

2.A guy is always jealous of another successful guy.

3.Success is like FART, its tolerable only when its one's own.

Any one or a combination of more than one theories can be the reason for his (un)popularity

We have been reported that after his passing out, there was a statue of his installed in SN Hall. While the first and the second years used to bow before the statue in respect, the senior girls had the permission of renting the statue on an hourly basis(if you know what we mean). It was also reported that the costumes for Interhall choreography came from this money.The hidden cam videos will be posted soon on the blog(of the choreography, what else were you thinking of...perverts!!)

The guy is a basketball maniac, he was often seen topless on the basketball court since he believes that hot bodies are meant to be flaunted(and it applied to both the sexes). Though we had mixed opinions on the amount of physical strength he had.While one school of thought believed that he had once hung a baby elephant(living in the rival wing) upside down just by holding his legs, the other school of thought believed that he stood and saw his best friend Bhau(of his own wing) being beaten up by his own wingie(again of his own wing) while Bhau repeatedly called for his help.Also to add up to the embarrasment, he made a video out of the situation.Also he never turned up for a one-on-one match that was supposed to be conducted on the basketball court with his opponent from the rival wing on the auspicious occasion of Holi.

He believes that Chicago had been derived from the words Chic and ago but refuses to tell the stories when he was there. Although we have evidences(photographs of him with random chics) that suggest something fishy, he has strongly denied all sorts of rumours and sees it a plot by his opponents to (de)fame him.

His current annual salary is equivalent to 1% of the GDP of Nepal and Bhutan combined.With girls wanting him and guys wanting to be like him, we today stand to honour him.